Attention everyone!

Everyone, please go to
O'Brien's in OU!

Why?



Because Selvarajee has officially started working.



Temaning Jett, of course.



Hey peeps, they are JUST best friends, okay.



*Rolls eyes.*



Hey guys, I want discount, okay?



:P



By the way, see any cockroaches yet, Sumi?



Wakakakakakakakakaka.

I hate pushy guys.

Oh yes.



Just for the record, I am NOT in and will NOT go into any relationship at this moment.



I am really starting to get VERY annoyed.



Can you get the 'sorry I am not interested' vibe?



I really hope you do, before things get ugly.



I feel awkward enough around you as it is, don't make it worse.



I don't want our friendship to compromise because of this.



Yes, I see you as a friend.



Feeling's can't be forced, so please stop your advances.



I hoped you would keep your toe in line, but you don't seem to get the picture.



If there's one thing you should know, is that I HATE this sort of situation.



Because experience counts.



So please be AWARE and don't drive me into a corner.



I can and WILL explode if you keep on doing so.

Tears.

As I type this, the tears seemed endless...

-----------------------------------------------------

When I woke up from falling asleep on the couch waiting for my parents to come home, guess who I saw?

My darling Grandma.




My Nei Nei. (Hakka)




Oh, how much I miss her!

I just said, "Oh!", and ran to give her the tightest hug a could manage. Then we sat down on the couch and I curled up against her like I've done when I was younger. A lot younger, which I have not done since I turned 13 years old.




Of course, we started talking. Talking about everything that went into my head, how was your day, stuff like that. As we were conversing, a thought never left my mind, but I didn't have the courage to say it out. The need to apologize. The need to explain myself why I haven't seen her since May, the need to say sorry for not being able to attend the family reunion, the need to apologize for being the only one who didn't attend...




And true enough, as I thought of this, the tears started flowing. I stopped talking. Burying my face into her arm, I just kept whispering, "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. For everything."




The words of wisdom she spoke of next would remain etched into my heart forever.

She said, "Silly child, stop crying. Why are you crying?"

Which then, I was sobbing quite hard 'til I couldn't say what I wanted to express to her. All I could manage was, "For not seeing you..." And it was between sobs and small hiccups.




"My dear child, if you're doing so much for God, He will definitely bless you for that. So don't worry about me. Be strong, okay?"

Oh, grandma.




Thank you. For being so understanding.

Thank you. For thinking about me. For bringing some of the homemade goodies I love. For the gifts you bought during your holiday to Sabah.




Thank you most of all, for loving this silly little watering can of a granddaughter.

Thank you, nei nei. And I love you.




And I'll make you proud.




May the Lord always bless you too.

Away.

The lack of updates.

Why?

Camped in Gabriel's place for the weekend.

Just got back from practice.

So. I am famished.

Will update later!


:)

Only 12 more days to Rally.

Gratitude.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.
















For constantly baby-sitting us,



For always being there for us,



For setting up the systems for us,



For being in charge of all our stuff,



For always being at our backs,



For standing up for us,



For doing EVERYTHING for us.







I am so so so sorry.



For everything we did,



acting like spoiled brats,



not owning up,



not thinking like adults,



not acting like adults,



not thinking for all of you who are backing us from behind.






Thank you for putting up with us and loving us all the same.



You guys are the greatest!!!



Lizzie loves you.

We all love you.



Thank you & may God bless you.

Memories ; Experiences ; I will treasure them forever. =)

3rd Training Camp was truly memorable. :)



What else I can say?



Awesome, fabulous, exciting, great, marvelous...

All these words pale in comparison to what I felt and experienced there.

So, the 23 of us plus a big handful of graduates

set off for Kem Bina Semangat on Friday afternoon.

It kinda brought back all the amazing memories I had

there last year in the 2008 SIC Youth Rally.



Well, there was very tension-ing stuff there too.

Some banging. Some hair-dropping, shitting bricks moments.

But, bah, to hell with it.



There, there was no one else.

Just me. Myself.

Free. Unhindered.

And God. With Him.

He was there with all of us.



And always remember,

WE are doing this for HIM.



We had our inner healing session on Sat night.

Tears flowed, problems poured out.

My heart feels so much lighter.

Like the burden has been taken away.

Thank you, Jesus.



Games?

Awesome!!! As usual.

But, no spoilers. :)

The only thing I regretted was not being able

to have a go at the obstacle course.



Oh Anne!

It's such a pity that you had to go back early

because of your exams!

All the best and we miss & love you okay!

But, we'll see you soon enough!

I loveeee you!

Oh!

The darned, dratted ants!

Stupid buggers.

Come after Eliz & us and

Lizzie will go into a killing spree!

Ahem. Excuse the violence.



Moving pass the

nauseating experience on Monday...

Cough cough.



HAHAHAHAHA!

We know your dirty little secrets now!

Actually, it isn't a secret now.

Graduates, thanks for all the stories.

Fantastic, pure laughing-my-ass-out moments..

Now I just hope that I am not one part of one.

:S



But,

I think everyone will remember this.

The Affirmation.

Hearts were warmed.

Tears were shed.

Thank you all.

That was the most touching, heart warming, special &

amazing experience.

Thank you all. So so so much.

You guys made my day.

I loveeeee you all.



So guys, now it's our turn.

God had brought us together to

be part of this amazing family.

Let's use what we have to let Him take control.

Let's us be His instruments to touch the hearts of others,

to bring them back to You..

As you have done so for us.

You have changed our lives.



We love you Lord.

Because You, first loved us.

♥

Only 17 more days to Rally.

Hope.

Before anything, it would do me a lot good if I just let go and let God. And so I do.



This year, it has been really emotional for me. Tears had been shed one too many times. And I am sure all of you know why.



Yes, my parents don't really understand the need for intensive training, what I do in youth, the amount of family time reduced and others. They know that it is a really good program, but they find it hard to accept the amount of commitment required for them to comply.



But don't judge them for that. I know it's also not wholly their fault why they don't understand. My dad is going through a really stressful time at work. He's been constantly at beck and call, going down to Johor or Singapore for a few days almost every week. Plus, my place just having one car and how we value family time very importantly has also added to his stress



I think that some of you can see that tense atmosphere whenever my dad comes to pick me up. It's really painful to hear he say that I've become rude because I don't greet him whenever he comes to pick me up. But, I think being kids, when you see your dad's face as black as coal, feeling that anger barely held in check, you probably be to scared to say anything. Oh well, maybe its just me.



It pains me to hear that he says that I've become a hopeless cause, putting Rally a priority over family, saying that he has given up on me and I can do anything I like now. It always brings me into tears whenever I think about how much we've spoken these few days. Say, maybe two lines a day? Not even a glance too also. Yeah, I am a very emotional person, I cry and tear a lot. The look he gives me when he sees me in tears... It hurts. It really does.



I am trying. Trying to not make him angry constantly. But, what a fat lot of that would do when he actually doesn't like what I am doing now? Sigh. My dad is not a very expressive person, so mom tells me that to don't take what he does as rejection. He loves me, but he's just feeling disappointed, frustrated and angry about the rigidity of the program. So like any other human being, he lets it out on someone. Mom, has really been my support these days. Yes, we argue, but not to the same extent as dad. Mom, thanks for being my mom and my sister. If you weren't here for me, I would be lost.



I know dad loves me, but yeah, I can't help wishing that he could more understanding and not take my emotional times as insolence. I am not blaming them, but I also hope that my parents can be more supportive of what I do. After all, I am doing this for God, not to show everyone SIC's glory or something.



Prayer has been my partner this year. I often lift up this matter to God, hoping that things won't get worse. My guess is, that this is the Devil's work at hand. Yes, I admit that sometimes I wonder why does all the shit happens, and why God lets it happen. Yes, I admit that I do wonder whether I am doing the right thing. But, I trust Him. I am still hoping. I know that a lot of good will come out of this so I'll do my best to persevere and counter this obstacle. I've gone through this far and I will not back down. I trust that the Lord will help me through this moment in my life.



I'll keep praying that my parents will come around, especially my dad.

Lord, I trust you. I have set my hope on you.

Bond.

And it all began on the 8th of May...


My life has changed.

Truly. Fully. From the inside out.



Being with all of you has brought my life to new heights.

We laugh.

We cry.

We play.

We work.

We sing.

We go crazy.

We enjoy endless moments with each other.



I find myself waiting for practice to come. When I am with you guys, I can be myself. I can just be me. There's no one else I want to be, but me. I have learnt so much from you guys and continue will. I just know it, that this bond we have, will last forevermore.



True enough, there are the hard times. Being so committed in the Rally Team, I definitely had a really hard time with my family. Enough said.



It's really painful thinking about it, and sometimes, I feel like obstacle after obstacle keeps appearing out of nowhere. Especially now, when it is so nearing Rally. Just when you think that things can't get bad enough, you find that you have just sank in deeper into the mud hole.



But, I hope things will get better. I have been praying and still am, for everything to fall into the right place. I have placed my hope in the Lord. And I will continue to have faith, to believe, that He will make things right.



And now, I know, all of us are facing a lot of stress. But, as a team, we will continue to support each other, help each other and grow with each other. Don't forget, we also have our amazing and happening graduates to support us.



I love you guys. Thank you for everything. :)

Tribute to Evie. (:

"I will SH~MACK you!"

;)

Awesome-ness.
No wonder she's the Drama Mama.
:D

' Beautiful.

Casting Crows - Who am I


Who am I?

That the Lord of all the earth,

Would care to know my name,

Would care to feel my hurt.

Who am I?

That the bright and morning star,

Would choose to light the way,

For my ever wandering heart.



Not because of who I am,

But because of what you've done.

Not because of what I've done,

But because of who you are.



I am a flower quickly fading,

Here today and gone tomorrow,

A wave tossed in the ocean,

A vapor in the wind.

Still you hear me when I'm calling,

Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,

And you've told me who I am.

I am yours.

I am yours.



Who am I?

That the eyes that see my sin,

Would look on me with love,

And watch me rise again.

Who am I?

That the voice that calmed the sea,

Would call out through the rain,

And calm the storm in me.



Not because of who I am,

But because of what you've done.

Not because of what I've done,

But because of who you are.



I am a flower quickly fading,

Here today and gone tomorrow,

A wave tossed in the ocean,

A vapor in the wind.

Still you hear me when I'm calling,

Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,

And you've told me who I am.

I am yours.

I am yours.



Not because of who I am,

But because of what you've done.

Not because of what I've done,

But because of who you are.



I am a flower quickly fading,

Here today and gone tomorrow,

A wave tossed in the ocean,

A vapor in the wind.

Still you hear me when I'm calling,

Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,

And you've told me who I am.

I am yours.

I am yours.

I am yours.



Whom shall I fear?

Whom shall I fear?

I am yours..

I am yours..

Tired.

PhysicallyMentally


" We have set our hope on the living God. "

Torn.

Hangingbyathread

I really don't know how much more I can take.

Guess what?

.........................................




























*drum rolls.*
























Chillax people! I'm so getting into it!!


























Wait.


























Wait a little more..

























Here goes....






























Nothing. :)































Okay la. Just scroll a little more...












































I NEARLY FELL OFF
THE STAGE TODAY.










*Maniacal laughter in the background.*






--------------------------------------------------------------


Yup, guys.

I totally did. xD




Today was the last Youth Gathering for the year.

The next big event would be the SIC Youth Rally coming up in December!

Tell you,

I FEEL SO NOT READY.

Anyway,

Ben & I were leading Praise & Worship today.

Maybe cos' its the last gathering,

so we had like a small stage set up.

Man!

I think I stepped a little to far behind.

Voila!

Felt the edge and doubled front.

Hopefully no one,

or two,

or four,

or many,

or everyone,

saw it.

>.<

These days.

I am bored.
Shitless, in fact. Excuse the cuss words.
I seem to have lost my interest in blogging too.
Please bear with it.
Oh well, things have been really bored lately.
Let's see.
Go school. Eat, sleep, sleep & more sleep.



It really amazes me to see how sadistic people can get by dissecting animals.
Not that I am saying that it's good to kill those poor frogs..
But hey, give them respect. Those poor things at least deserve that for dying to be the 'lab rats' of us secondary peeps.
How brutal can people get by mutilating, using those poor creatures to do digusting gestures and stuff!
I wonder where are your sense of pity and compassion.
Oops. Maybe you don't have one.
Knocking them down and dissecting them while they are still alive is bad enough.
I had to keep telling myself it is for educational purposes and nothing more.
Coming from a self-proclaimed animal lover, it is amazing that I really did participated in the killing, ahem, dissection of a frog.
Wonder what gives them the hype to meddle with the dead corpse of a frog?
Beats me.



Great.
Now I wonder why I sound so depressed.
I sound like the apocalypse is on Friday and I am nihilistic.
Go figure.
Being bored out of my wits killed my spirit.
I desperately need to read a good book!
Buuuuuut.
Mom hasn't finished her current batch of books.
Bugger. Means at least another week before I can go borrow books.
Bugger that.



Anyhow...
I AM RE-WATCHING ALL THE THREE SEASONS OF GOKUSEN!
Awesome drama. :)
Yeah, so I am a total Yankumi fanatic.
All the 3D guys are just too cute when it comes to girls despite their delinquent ways and manner.
Not to mention Yankumi's antics when she goes into Yakuza mode is a great comedy cliche.
Laughing my guts out here, no kidding.
And then..
D.GRAY-MAN IS FINALLY BACK!
Yahoo!!!
Ooooooh. Seems like the cloud of mystery around Kanda is finally lifting.
So we finally know why he heals faster than a normal human being and stuff.
But, damn it..
I really want Allen to show his 14th Noah!!
I mean, heck! What is with the really frustrating, keep-me-hanging-on-the-edge, horribly long suspense!!??
JUST BLOODY WELL LET ME SEE HIS NOAH!!!
*Inner manga fangirl screaming.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Sometimes I feel like I am missing something.

Say what?

Yeah. You heard me perfectly well.

I feel empty.

Somehow.

I don't know.

Things have been rough lately.

***

I really want to have a dog.
It'll love me for who I am, not what I am.
Really, this just goes to show how fragile and insecure people are.
I am what I am. Uniquely me.
Yet, people change.
For good or bad.
It is hard wondering how your good friend had changed when people starts pointing accusing fingers at him or her.
And you don't realize it.
You indignantly say no at the things seemingly done by them.
You just can't believe what they say.
Yet, people don't do things meaninglessly.
And this is where the doubt starts.
Trust.
Can I believe her/him?
The gap widens.
What happened?


Why wasn't I there to know about it?




-------------------------------------------------------------

Life's truly is a bitch.

Life's truly wonderful in many ways.

Life truly bites back when you least notices it.

Life's truly different in so many ways.

Life's truly unpredictable; you'll never know just what you might get.

Life truly is disheartening at times.

Life's truly evil. In some ways.

Life's good. In some ways.

Life truly is a wrapped up anonymous gift. Hey, don't you like surprises?

Oh well.

You never know just what you might find.
:)