Yowai ka....?

Why the rage?
Well, Senzo. Your post really caught my eye.
Is it weakness you call it? Well allow me to share my side of the story.
Dedicated to the original writer of "Why the Rage?"
Warning : Potential emo-ness.


Everyone has his or her's different way of venting out anger. Yours, is by simple sealing all of it into your heart and let it pass. Its one way, but the thing is because you are you. You are a unique person with a unique personality and people think of your quirkiness as you being weird, emo etc. Your sarcasm simply show who you are, and generally , I believe you CAN withhold all of that anger/rage into your mind and soul as you. like you say CAN force yourself to accept things when other people can't. In a way, Senzo, you are truly one of a kind. I really admire you for that as it is something I cannot achieve. Like you always say, patience is a virtue and this truly shows in the way you control your feelings. =)


Then again, my story. You know I am a very emotional person and I can be very explosive if I want to. I am the type when trying to bottle up feelings, tends to get worse and worse and then explode. When the explosion comes, all common sense flees me. You may not believe it, but during my primary years, I was a bullying target for a group of boys in my class. To withhold privacy, names shall not be revealed here but you know who you are. =) Taunts and not very pleasant topics were aimed at me almost everyday. You may think, ohh, you're just a kid and all but this just shows the way I am. I was told to bottle them up or so, but as the days passed, I just became more negative and brooded all day. One day, they crossed the line and I simply lashed out at the head honcho. I believe I said stuff that really got through that thick skull of theirs as they have never bothered me since. Many incidents also occurred when I tried to keep things to myself and really, it only did more damage to my self-esteem then.


So you see, I am not the type to bottle up my feelings and one way or a another, it is good for me to let them out by any means as blogging, even my ballet lessons helps to relax me. I have a sensitive nature, so yes, you say the cycle continues when you rant, it happens again... a never ending cycle. However, it gives me a sense of peace when I do so, and to me, succumbing to that moment of anger is weakness to me. It doesn't matter that the cycle continues, it is a way of life, nothing can change that. To me, venting it out makes me hurt less, and prevents me from venting it on my parents and indirectly hurting them. So ironic isn't it? I vent my anger about them, yet I hold them in such high regards. Cause they are my parents ; they aren't perfect but I do respect and love them for who they are. I believe, one day, they will come around.


And I of course do keep little petty things to myself. I mean, you can't help it when you are a neat person trying to change a messy person's habits? Or when you are tired from a day's of work and expect some comfort back at home? It just comes naturally. You have got to see past these things and look at why are they acting like that. It is only when it becomes all to much or when it is so unreasonable that's when you start getting angry. And well, Zi Yi, parents ARE like that when they you to do A, then when you keep doing it, tell you to do B instead. That is why they are called P-A-R-E-N-T-S. They are simply WEIRD BEINGS.


Everybody does it differently. I believe my brother vents his feelings by spending time with his friends often. And regrading weaknesses, I believe everybody has one. Senzo, you say by not accepting and venting out, it shows weakness, which so you shied away from it, and force yourself to accept it. For me, it's knowing what I did right and what went wrong and I stand firm on my ground. However, giving in to that moment of anger is what I call weakness. So to prevent myself doing so, I vent it out before it becomes a poison in my heart that starts eating out my senses and fuelling my negative side. So you see, we are all very human and we all try to avoid weaknesses.


By the way, everyone has a emo side. It's human nature to have one. However pathetic/whiny/horrible it sounds, if you don't have one, just shows you are a robot or you might be a lil' 'gaga'.


By the way, you are truly one lucky guy as I have never published my emo-ness before. Till now that is. =D

I know mine sounds pathetic too.
xD